A waking dream
by aurghhh
Summary: Emily imagines what will happen when Paige leaves for Stanford (set after 4x09).


**A/N:** I promise I will continue with "Friday Night, Saturday morning" - I have a lot more I want to write one that one - but it may not be for a while as I am currently doing a bunch of stuff (moving house etc). So I thought I would dig through the archives and find another story I haven't published here.

This was my first ever Paily fic. Set immediately after the end of 4x09, because the ending of that episode really bummed me out and I wanted to fix it. There is a longer version of this story on my tumblr site (justhowthingsworkout) but honestly I should have left it at one chapter. So, um, yeah, here it is, my first ever Paily story. Hope you like it.

The snippets of song lyrics at the start of each section are from "Dream a Little Dream of Me".

* * *

 _Stars shining bright above you_

Emily can't sleep. The night hurts too much.

She thinks of the conversation they had on the dock. She plays it over and over in her mind. She remembers the look on Paige's face, her breaking voice.

And she remembers saying the words that Page could not bring herself to say. That they are not going to be together next year. The pain on Paige's face when Emily spoke those words haunts her.

But Emily knows it is true. Paige has the scholarship for Standford. Paige will go. She has to. Emily will stay behind.

Emily knows Paige wants to believe they can find a way. That Emily can overcome her injury. She can get back to her old times. She can train and train and get the scholarship. Paige wants to believe they can keep going. Paige is determined. She wants to make it work.

But Emily is not Paige. Emily is not driven, she swims for fun. Or did once.

When Emily puts pressure on herself, or lets other people put pressure on her, she breaks. She knows this, and she knows how to avoid it. But that is what Paige is doing. Emily knows Paige just wants them to be together, she knows that Paige doesn't mean to do this, but she is.

Emily won't get the scholarship. They won't be together next year.

Emily begins to picture what will happen. Maybe they try to stay together. They kiss and say goodbye, promise that this is not the end. They tell themselves that they love each other too much. That four years is not too long if they have the rest of their lives to look forward to. Then Emily watches Paige leave. Alone.

They call each other. Paige tells Emily how exciting Stanford is. How great it is to be swimming there. Emily looks around her as Paige says these things. Imagines herself there. Imagines what she could have had.

Over time they start to talk less. They tell themselves it doesn't matter. That they are not drifting apart.

They talk about Emily coming over to visit. But it is too hard, too expensive. Emily doesn't have the time. She has her own life. Not as exciting as Paige's life. But she has things she needs to do.

And Paige makes new friends. They joke about Paige's far away girlfriend. Ask if she really exists. Paige says how wonderful Emily is, but she is meeting new people too. People doing all of the exciting things Paige is doing. Sharing those experiences with her.

Paige's new friends start to say things. Discreetly at first. They feel bad about what they are saying. But they say it. That Paige should think about moving on. That Emily, however nice she is, cannot give her what she needs. What someone else can. Someone who is there for her. With her. Sharing her life.

Paige doesn't listen at first. She says she still loves Emily. She feels bad that she has left Emily behind. But eventually she listens to her friends. Because she knows they are right.

And one night she calls Emily. Her voice is heavy, like it was tonight. She is sorry, very sorry. Emily says she understands. They wish each other well.

And it is over.

* * *

 _Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"_

No, it makes more sense to just break up when Paige leaves. Let her start a new life in a new city. Give her the freedom to make the most of the wonderful experience ahead of her.

Emily imagines how this would work out. They still keep in touch. Still call each other. There is no pressure. They are just two friends, keeping in touch.

Paige shows Emily pictures of Stanford, pictures of her team, pictures at swim meets. She talks about her new friends.

And when one of them meets someone new, someone special, that is OK. Because they are not a couple any more. They may be a little hesitant, but it is better to be up front and honest about these things. It hurts a little, but that goes away over time.

Paige has her own life, and Emily too. They start to talk less often, but they don't tell themselves it doesn't mean anything, because they have prepared themselves. They know it is going to happen.

Eventually they only see each other now and then. They have moved on.

They have their own lives. Separate lives. And they each love someone else.

* * *

 _Birds singing in the sycamore trees_

Emily tells herself that this is what will happen, but the story playing out in her head doesn't want to end.

She sees the two of them meeting years later. Just randomly in the street. Maybe Paige has come back to Rosewood. Maybe Emily has finally left. They haven't seen each other in years. But Emily looks up and there is Paige.

They smile and say hello. Say what an amazing coincidence this is. Paige says how great Emily is looking, and Emily returns the compliment. Emily suggests they should sit down and have a coffee together. Paige says that's a great idea.

They talk about what they have done since they last spoke. They talk about old times in Rosewood. They talk about swimming. They talk about what they are doing with their lives.

Eventually Emily asks if Paige is seeing someone. Paige says no. She had a girlfriend at Stanford, but it didn't last after they graduated. Emily says her last relationship didn't work out. There is an awkward silence, but one of them suggests they meet up again. The other agrees.

Somehow things have changed. They are older, more independent. They are able to travel. They find out they are not that far away from each other. They say how good it is to be friends again. But they feel more than that. They start to see each other more and more. To become part of each other's lives again.

And when they do they reconnect. It is like it was before. They fall in love again. Because they never really stopped.

* * *

 _Dream a little dream of me_

As Emily lies in bed she knows this is just a fantasy. She knows what will happen. She knows she has to face facts. Just like she had said to Paige earlier that night. Her dream of some miracle bringing them back together is just a dream. It will never be real.

But she also knows in that moment that she can't just let go. She loves Paige too much. She has to believe that there is some way they can stay together. She cannot give all this up because of an injury taking away everything they dreamed of.

She starts to imagine other ways their lives might turn out. Her injury healing in time. Her training succeeding. Finding another college nearby. Finding another way to earn a scholarship. Anything to be with the girl she loves.

She thinks of when Paige first asked Emily to come to Stanford with her. Emily had been afraid. She knew that daring to hope for a life outside of Rosewood, the two of them together safe and happy, was to invite disaster. Hope breeds eternal misery, as Spencer would say. Emily hadn't realized how much she believed this until that night.

Despite all that, Emily had said yes. She had turned away from her fears. Since that night her fears had all come true, but she had known this would happen. She had known what she would face.

She begins to realize what she must do now. She must keep going. This is her last fear to overcome. Daring to hope without knowing what is ahead. Only knowing that she wants to be with Paige. Because she loves her.

Emily turns to Paige.

Her eyes are open. Oh God, she has been awake all this time. Lying there unable to sleep, just like Emily. Silently hurting, just like Emily.

Emily puts her arm around Paige, and Paige turns to her. They kiss for a moment, then lie in each others arms.

Anything might happen tomorrow, but for now she has Paige. And that will be enough.


End file.
